I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: An Interview.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is rightfully celebrated as an Hollywood heavyweight. However, during the peak of his blockbuster fame in the 1980s and 1990s, he also delivered several surprisingly great comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35th anniversary this winter.
The Story and That Line
In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger plays a undercover cop who masquerades as a schoolteacher to catch a killer. For much of the film's runtime, the crime storyline acts as a loose framework for Arnold to have charming moments with his young class. Without a doubt the standout features a little boy named Joseph, who spontaneously announces and states the former bodybuilder, “Males have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Arnold replies icily, “I appreciate the insight.”
The boy behind the line was portrayed by youth performer Miko Hughes. His career included a recurring role on Full House as the schoolyard menace to the Olsen twins and the haunting part of the youngster who comes back in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with multiple films in development. Furthermore, he engages with fans at popular culture events. Not long ago discussed his memories from the set of Kindergarten Cop 35 years later.
Memories from the Set
Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.
That's impressive, I have no memory from being four. Do you have any memories from that time?
Yeah, a little bit. They're brief images. They're like picture memories.
Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?
My family, especially my mother would accompany me to auditions. Sometimes it was an open call. There'd be a room full of young actors and we'd all patiently queue, enter the casting office, be in there for a very short time, do whatever little line they wanted and that was it. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, once I learned to read, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.
Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?
He was very kind. He was enjoyable. He was nice, which arguably makes sense. It would be strange if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a productive set. He was fun to be around.
“It would be strange if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”
I was aware he was a huge celebrity because I was told, but I had barely seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — he was a big deal — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was merely entertaining and I only wanted to hang out with him when he was available. He was occupied, of course, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd flex and we'd be holding on. He was really, really generous. He bought every kid in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was a major status symbol. That was the hottest tech out there, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It finally gave out. I also have a real silver whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.
Do you remember your time filming as being positive?
You know, it's funny, that movie became a phenomenon. It was a huge film, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, the location shoot, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was just released. That was the big craze, and I was proficient. I was the youngest and some of the bigger kids would hand me their devices to pass certain levels on games because I could do it, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all childhood recollections.
The Infamous Moment
OK, the infamous quote, do you remember anything about it? Did you know what you were saying?
At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word taboo meant, but I knew it was provocative and it got a big laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given approval in this case because it was humorous.
“My mom thought hard about it.”
How it was conceived, based on what I was told, was they were still developing characters. Certain bits of dialogue were written into the script, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they worked on it while filming and, I suppose it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "I need to consider this, let me sleep on it" and took a day or two. She deliberated carefully. She said she was hesitant, but she thought it will probably be one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and history proved her correct.
